I was a very good girl this year, Santa brought me The Backyard Homestead,
Great Yarns for the Close-Knit Family, and Made from Scratch: Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life. I closed my eyes and pointed at random to which one I would read first, which happened to be Made From Scratch. I’m a fee chapters in and already loving this book. Woginrich is a hilarious writer, and open about her failures as much as her triumphs. Something that I’m thrilled to read after reading too many books by perfect people.

I’s good for my ego to know that someone else manages to mess up often enough.

Yesterday evening we gave the bread recipe she shared a try. After my many bread disasters I was less than hopeful. But I was willing to try. After all, I had a packet of yeast left over and time to kill while my dinner cooked. How could I not give it a try? Especially when I had a cute little helper.

The bread didn’t turn out the prettiest, but it tasted like heaven. It was warm and soft, not at all hard like my previous loaves had been. Maybe it was just luck, but I finally got a loaf of bread right. And just in time for the holidays too.

Next up, I’m giving a shot at making butter. I never even considered it before. In my head were visions of long hours spent at a churn. Apparently I can make it in a few hours with a mason jar.

When I was a little girl my grandmother made homemade bread every day. Warm, fresh, good for me bread. And, like any typical little girl of my time, I complained that we weren’t like the other families who ate their bread already sliced and from a plastic bag.

If I only knew that one day I would be desperate to toss out that pre-sliced junk for the real stuff. Like my grandmother used to bake.

I have been trying to perfect my bread making ability for what seems like forever now. My curse upon homemade bread as a child bounced back and cursed me into a complete inability to make a good loaf. This one is too flat, that one is too doughy. This won’t rise enough, that tastes like cardboard. I’ve tried the bread for morons recipe, pulled recipes from Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day (Amazon.com link), and from the picture above tried a recipe that everyone swore I couldn’t mess up. I think it is time for me to accept that baking bread will not be my specialty.

It almost pains me to say that. Imagine life without melting butter smeared on a slice of hot, fresh bread. Never again experiencing sandwiches made from thick, fluffy slices that I cut myself. What on earth will I dip into my soup broth if not a steaming slice that I just pulled out of the oven?

So here I am, begging, pleading, for just one more recipe. An absolute foolproof bread. One that will rise, be light and fluffy, taste like heaven, and satisfy all my memories of amazing bread. Also, recipes for hard as a brick yet doughy inside lumps of bread. Please?